My least favorite lesson to learn


Last month I spent some time in Cornwall, England, with my son Flynn and his dad, to look after our friends' teenage daughter. With the major life challenges they were facing, gardening had not been top-of-mind for them, so I had promised to do some gardening while there.  I was happily weeding away when my search for a broom caused me to slip on some wooden steps with the speed of light. 

i yelled out in agony, and with a little help from my friend, Flynn’s dad, I made my way indoors. It was a painstaking journey to my bed, and when my mental faculties returned, my mind raced as I envisioned days of being bedridden, when I so wanted to walk the Cornish coastal path. But after a few rounds of FasterEFT I couldn't wait to try and stand up and test my walking skills. Thank god for tapping. 


It was in no way fun to fall on my ass, but that is not why I am writing this message. This is about my least favorite lesson to learn: to slow down. Just two simple words, but it's been an ongoing theme in my life. It is certainly not the first time I took a fall and was forced to rest and take it a whole lot easier. Left on my own, you find me rushing thru life. It’s a good thing I have learned to meditate, and it is an even better thing that I’m a singer, which is one of the best things you can do for your health and really helps me slow down and enjoy the moment. 


A few days later, when I was getting back on my feet a little bit, I fell again. Not on my tail bone this time, but on my knees. Thank you, universe, I think I’m getting the message now. I’m too impatient and keep forgetting that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I want it all now, and I most certainly don’t want to sit around and wait for it. 


A couple of years back, around the time I was faced with and embraced my autism diagnosis, I was going thru a rough time and ended up applying for government support. It never felt quite comfortable to be on welfare, but since I began to use FasterEFT a lot of my issues started to fall away, and it was now time to get back on my own financial feet. I decided to seriously work on my money mindset, so I can start making a living doing the things I love. A lot of shifts began to take place, the most important one of which I had not expected. I could no longer deny my deepest desire: to pursue a music career, no holding back! Taking the risk to land on my ass, figuratively speaking this time. To lose everything but gain more: being true to myself. 


And so there was literally no holding back: I joined an online academy for female musicians, ideas came flooding in, and I could think of nothing else. Yes, thank you, I’ll have that music career, universe. Now, please. But that’s not how things work. Life is still a journey. In this time and space reality we still need to do things step by step. 


My double fall made me realize once again that all is well. Right this minute. Yes, I can’t wait to share my music with the world, yes, I  can’t wait to bring out an album. Or 10! But all is well here and now too. It’s okay to trust that the path will still be here tomorrow, next week, and next month. Knowing that it will unfold itself as I take my steps, one at a time. It’s okay to build my future one song, one live stream, one gig and one blog post at a time. Here and now. 

All this reminded me of a song I wrote over ten years ago: Slow Down. Yes, ten years ago. I told you it has been an ongoing theme. So I took it out and started singing it again. 

And I felt I needed to finally record it, because I doubt that I’m the only person who wants to be or do too much at times. For spiritual beings having a physical experience it can be a challenge to live a linear life. Add a good dose of creativity to that, and a constant flow of ideas going thru your head, and the challenge becomes even greater. 

It’s really beneficial to step back now and again, to slow down. Get back to this moment, feed your soul and remember what it’s all about. 

So now let’s sing: 

Slow down, slow down 

Don't try to outpace the river 

Let it run its course 

Slow down, slow down 
Don't try to outpace the river 
Let it run its course